It was a warm May Tuesday morning, of the year 2017, I was in Barcelona, playing the guitar in my apartment located outside the city, in Llinars del Valles. I took a break from the guitar, opened up my email and read through one asking me to audition for an Australian comedy show for ABC, to act as a flamenco guitarist called Pico Pinta, that could not speak English.
Immediately Faulty Towers come to my mind and I said: “ No way “. I did not want to be seen as the disorganised and confused Spaniard from Barcelona with a poor grasp of the English language and customs. Even though half of this was true, I dismissed the email.
But, the next day, I received another email where the production company insisted that they wanted me to go for the role on ABC. So I wrote back, and explained my concern about looking stupid. The show replied, and assured me that they would not go into any human degradation beyond what the hosts do to themselves.
The 2 word script
Their reply did feel reassuring and very Australian and I said: “ What the hell, let’s give it a try”. I looked at the script and I concluded that my lines were easy for a musician. All I had to say was Yes and Australia. I recorded these two lines ( words) with quicktime, sent them through and got the gig.
A few weeks later I arrived in Melbourne, and showed up at the stage to film my two words. It took us almost a full day just to get the1 minute act right.
I must say I felt very pretty with all the makeup, and at the same time very masculine by having to repeatedly kiss the Kates over and over again until it felt natural.
The kissing was the easy part, but what took even more time was filming my desperate attempt to abandon the studio, roaming back and forth like a confused Spaniard from Barcelona.
I later looked at the show and laughed at the extreme irony the Kates put into their work. They are very good and scary at the same time. This show replicates the Australian and ABC spirit where we can laugh at ourselves and still feel proud of the accomplishment.
Thank you for having me on board as the grown man comfortable with a ponytail.
My name on the show was Pico Pinta, and I was truly surprised to perform in rural Victoria shortly afterwards and have people call out my name: “Mr Pico Pinta, bravo”
My reply was “Huh?”
Oh well, the show must go on.